Sometimes, it scares me to realise how much of a burden I have to shoulder. Responsibility to nation, the armedforces, the family and to myself. All this and I'm barely 19.

So things have been the epitome of crazy, but I'm damn glad I have people around me who care. Baby I'm so sorry for worrying you this morning when I called you in camp and broke down. I'm so sorry. To jp and guAfeng too. Sigh. These are the rare times when I let that seemingly tough outer shell slip off - momentarily.

The Lake House was good. Though there were manymany times when we questioned the logic of it all. I suppose some things are just not meant to make sense. Sometimes I guess we've just gotta float along and not let too many questions overrun our minds - lest we crumble.

I just need to take my mind off the little iffy details and just get away for a while.

The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. 3 whole days of leadership/personal development workshop is mentally draining, but I really am very glad that I got the chance to attend this. Through the exercises that we did, suddenly everything that was fuzzy before became clearer. I realised the reason why I was feeling so shitty for the past few weeks. I joined the SAF because I wanted to make a difference in a way no one would expect me to, but yet these few months I've been focusing on the wrong things. Instead of focusing on the SERVICE aspect, I actually got too preoccupied with living up to people's expectations and perceptions on how a scholar should be. I've been so hung up with trying to perform.

I suppose now I'm quite clear about what I want from life. It was somewhat a... self-awakening in that sense. The workshop forced me to sit down and evaluate, really scrutinise my priorities under a microscopic lens. Then we wrote letters to ourselves stating our goals for the next one year, so that when we return from studies next year, they'll mail the letter to us. Very very meaningful.

I found something I wrote last year for the juniors before I left the team:

Lets start with OpenDay2003. I came to NJ not knowing wad to expect. Then yihui persuaded me to start training w them.. honestly didnt know that by agreeing, Id be making the best decision of my life. This team has been my ROCK..It seems weird now not coming for morning trg at 650, having wed n sat free.. not sleeping at 10pm anymore. I feel like an empty shell..

Derwin told me tt canoeing is like a relationship-when the time comes u have to let go no matter how much it hurts.. being in the team has truly changed me. I never thought Id be able to do pullups, run fast. Ive really become stronger and this is only the physical aspect. Mentally ive learnt to push on no matter how hard it is.. never giving up, finding new barriers of pain which I wld then surpass.

But if u think all was smooth sailing, ure wrong. In feb, I was taken out of ballgames cos of a badly strained shoulder ligament n was out of action for more than a wk. That, in my opinion, marked wad was to be a yr of serious BAD LUCK for me. I sprained ankle after ankle (they took turns to sprain), had shin splints, problems in my fibula.. had my 1^st high fever in 3yrs.. it went crazy. The ill luck didnt stop till april this yr, after I was hospitalized for some bladder thingy.. but uknow wad? Not ONCE did I regret joining the team. It was thru these injuries tt I emerged mentally tougher. I mean ive been to e hospital these 2years more times than ive been in my whole life BUT well what doesnt kill u makes u stronger.. it was thru these adverse times tt I saw how much e team cared for me. Like when I sprained my ankle during SWIFT run, Audrey nv gave up on me.. n everyone was rushin ard tendin to me. If theres 1thing im truly grateful for, its the friendship tt ive forged w every single person in e team. ...Ive learnt tt theres MORE to life than just winning races/doing well in studies. Its abt humanity. Trust faith compassion courage HEART. Nv will I forget these 2yrs..its been so special. Think nothing can ever replace this amazing experience.

They say -lead another life, join njcanoe. This cant be more true. Canoeing has completely changed me.. n despite all the conflicts, squabbles n tears, ive pulled thru. NO wait, WE VE pulled thru.

I think dragonboat is definitely the most significant part of my time in e team esp SDBF 2005 n Regatta2004. Pulling together as a team, feeling e boat SURGE cos of the concerted effort of everyone, makin sure tt no one is left behind, weak or strong.. Remember- courage perseverance n heart, thats all u need.

I want to be a good person. I know that as a scholar I'm gonna get quite a bit of help in my career, but when I'm in a position of high authority in the future, I want people to look at me and realise that I got where I am because I worked hard, and not just because I'm a scholar. I want to be somebody who people respect.

Oh and by the way, I'm going to YORK to do Politics and English. It's confirmed now. Will post flight details once it's confirmed. I'm veryvery excited (:

New template. Looks simple but i went CRAZY coding it. BAH. Still not complete though. Will work on it tomorrow. G'night.

My MOM ate all the Phish Food. RAAAAARGHGHGHGHGH mmmpbffft zzz.

Other than that, I'm in high spirits today. You know the veryvery nice feeling that you get when you're happy for no apparent reason? Yeah. Maybe I'm still sighing in contentment over yesterday - which was so blissfully perfect I felt like I had not a single care in the world. It really makes me wonder why we have moodswings. I wanna be just beaming and sunshiney forever. Yet I know I'd probably get irritated sometime tomorrow.. by that idiot that doesn't move to make way for people boarding the train.

Our predeparture thing today was pretty ok. Firstly it was specially for SAF scholars, so there were no uhm, PSC people around. (*whistles innocently*) Secondly, it was so much more relevant and to the point. I mean, why would I wanna learn about TAXES.. especially since I don't do Econs. Thirdly, the first presenter was SO ENTERTAINING. His presentation wasn't really a presentation but it was more like a storytelling session. He was saying how he left his metal spoon out in the cold and when he went back to his food his spoon got stuck on his lip what the freak. That left him with a huge chunk of skin missing from his lips for weeks. OWCH. I'm bringing plastic utensils over there man.

There was this personality assessment based on a quiz that I did like a millionyears ago. Apparently I am very Anxious. Anxiety level is 9/10. Uhoh. I'm wary and suspicious of people and I'm guarded. Perhaps this was me last year, but now at this moment I don't think I'm that jaded anymore. I mean, all the betrayal and grudges have just melted away, and I'm ready to believe in people again (: Thanks to you! -gringringrin-

See? Isn't it freaking squishable (:

Anyway, went down to Macritchie to watch NCC. Made me realise how much I miss racing. Miss the adrenaline, the silent support off my teammates, the power, the pain, the surge. I WANNA ROW AGAIN. Sighhhhhh. I miss training with my team. Even though we went through really shitty times, like crazy neverending lineup shuffling, people hyperventilating etc I guess we really stuck together as a team and eventually brought the titles back again.

Leepeng - my partner. From K1 - 500m training partner, to eventually being chucked in the same boat. It wasn't easy, but I really really enjoyed every single training in our K2 Whitepatch. I don't think our Nats race was our best race ever, but well it felt good. Too bad we couldn't row for NCC :(

Peishannnnn - our superduper captain. This girl was like the ROCK of the team man. Always keeping us grounded and pushing us to the max. Somehow she was always the one deflecting Yong's scoldings away from the girls. Without her the team would be nothing man..

Michy! - the first person I rowed K2 with. Remember how last time in Kallang I couldn't stop my K1 and made u row up and down with me even during our supposed rests in between sets. OMG. Yeah we've really really been through a lot together man.

Xintian - We were deemed as being too short-armed to row together lol. Those thursdays in J1 when you'd end lessons freakingly early and I ended at 2 so we'd talk rubbish at the canoetable. Yes, little miss exaggeration. I really miss your rubbish. Haha.

Shumin - K2-500 eventpartners yay. I've always found you veryvery funny, with your antics and the things you say. We were somehow always put together for ballgames/canoepolo - which were not your forte, but I've always admired your courage and your willpower.

Jasmin - Our star runner, and our resident outburst queen. Haha remember how we were trying to persuade you to join the team. Oh and I think this girl has to be the smartest of us all man. Our STUDY I/C lehhh. You've got the most idiosyncracies among us all also. The things you do with your food - omg.

Tsinli - Your enthusiasm is really admirable man. (Wah, I'm naming the two smart ppl one after another) I've always liked training with you during the K2 sets. Somehow your presence was always... calming and encouraging (: Oh and where else can we find a more responsible QM?

Chiteng - WAH LAU. I'm starting on the tall people now. The MOST STABLE rower ever. (When I learnt tt it was cos you'd get seasick thats why you're so stable, I almost died laughing) Rowed with you during that Bedok race. It was chaos at the starting line and when I was gonna lose my temper and jamming the rudder to weave through the mass of boats, you just calmly rowed like you're the only one on water O_O

Rachel - "K1 girls -- we're the strongest cos we've fallen the hardest" I'll ALWAYS remember what you said. THAT training, after you came back from holidaying.. how you were lagging like shit and Yong was just rowing next to us scolding and yelling at you. I was so angry at him I wanted to just take my paddle and whack him but I couldn't or else I'd cap. Plus I dunno what I'd do w/o an AEP mate like youuuu (:

Huiying - EH. Maybe I should move your name up the list. You're among the "tall people" leh. Hahaha. Explosive temper, but you've ALWAYS been there for me. Somehow you'd always talk a lot of sense even though I'd always go "ya ya i know". You're like the only other girl who hangs out at the table regularly..

MINDY - OMG my dear girl. SIX FAT YEARS of friendship, going on 7. I honestly didn't think you'd join the team, but I've seen you really come a long way, and I'm so proud of you. Thanks for always listening to me whine and bitch, for laughing with me, for just.. being you. I dunno what I'd have done without you man. You really made my JC life so much more bearable. AND I STILL HAVEN'T ROWED WITH YOU. SULK.

Haha I love my girls man.

Happy birthday meimei.

Sigh. You know when they say bad things don't just happen to you one at a time? You somehow manage to be CRUISING on an unlucky streak time and time again. Shit happens. I'm so frustrated.

Ok van, calm down. It's the weekend and I'm gonna be happy and enjoy his company..

Ok so I wrote something. *Gestures below* My browser doesn't seem to be able to view the proper indentations though, so those who're using anything other than Firefox tell me if you can see the poem (I disdain to call it that) in it's full indented glory?

I think we lack honesty. There's many a time we paint a rather farcical picture of ourselves in order to impress people, leave a lasting first impression etc. There're also times when we choose to be politically correct in order not to offend someone, especially someone who could ruin your career with just a flick of a pen. We fail to see that we can be honest but tactful at the same time. There's barely any humanity left these days. People are all preoccupied with the flux of the stock market, or whether baby Suri exists, or worse still, whether they can earn their first million by (insert age here). No one bothers about the Little Things In Life anymore. Things like your kid's first A in his reportcard. Like the lonely raindrop on your windshield. The fragile bubble in your morning coffee.

Perhaps I speak from experience. I know I've been lamenting about this for quite some time, but yet I've never ever been sufficiently proactive about correcting this in MY own life. Ever since I signed on, I threw myself into a realm where one is constantly being scrutinised. YOU ARE A SCHOLAR, SO YOU HAVE TO BEHAVE LIKE ONE. Sit up straight, flash a smile at your superiors, yes sir yes sir (three bags full). As a result, I've found myself slipping away, and what's left of me is but a hollow puppet whose strings are being yanked by an omnipresent, powerful being. It's like clockwork, yes, and I'm definitely losing my soul by the day. I've CHANGED. That's certainly what's happening around here. All day long I'm conscious about how I project myself, how I appear to my superiors, so much that when I reach home everyday I'm entirely immersed in my role of acting beatified. I've forgotten how to feel.

So I guess the coughpoemcough below is the brainchild of what I've been mulling over for the past few weeks. It took a while, yes, but it's a sure start. I'm going on a Quest! A sojurn into the Land of Whathasbeen - to slowly but firmly regain the ability to look at the world through eyes that aren't my own.

Well done, van.

Today was a rather happening day cos attachment ended at 1130am and we had the whole day to ourselves. But I'm real lazy to document everything. Like I said, stringing my thoughts and flashbacks into coherent sentences comes as a real chore to me these days. Usually, I'd make the effort but now I'm lazy.

Anyway, was at Guofeng's place today. We watched Wicker Park and half of Garden State. OMG Wicker Park was fantabulous. I love movies like that.. those that unsettle you and give you goosebumps. Couldn't finish Gardenstate on time though, pah. Then met the art people at Harbourfront omgomg it was sooo nice to see Mr Lee & Mr Chia again. Oh and Mr Mark Lo!! I actually miss NJ - kinda.

SG Idol was.. uh. I think this is my first time watching a full show and I'm quite appalled. (Not that I can do any better, but.. you know) HOW are we gonna send these people to compete/breakthrough the international arena if they can't even pronounce their words correctly? UH regarding one contestant - when asked about her age, she went "I'm nineteen" - except she pronounced it as "I'm nineTIN". NINE TINS OF WHAT??? Embarrassment?? .It's horrible! The singing is... okay I suppose. Not altogether fantastic, but the contestants do have great personalities, so props to them for that.

NINE TIN WTF OMGGGGG..

DVD Marathons are what keep me from dying of boredom. 13 going on 30, A Lot Like Love, Shrek. Tomorrow's gonna be.. a few more.

I love Shrek cos "Shrek loves his princess =)"

Maybe I should... go shopping soon
I love... you who's driving your whatchamacallit vehicle in Sungei Gedong now (:
I don't understand... why they're making us run all over Singapore tomorrow for our attachment. Gombak to Lim Chu Kang. ER how(e)???
I lose sleep... thinking about moving to UK.
People say I am.. very feisty and chillipadi.
Love is.. when two people grow old together and go for wheelchair races, share dentures and count wrinkles.
When I like someone... that someone wouldn't know lol.
Somewhere someone is... eating good food :(
I will always remember... my NJCanoeing times. Foreverandeverandeverandever.
Forever is... a promise
I never want... to kill a quail again
I think the current US President... entertains the world
I will never get to... have four kids :(
My past is... something that should be left behind
My greatest fear is... (for now) having no Uni.
I get annoyed when... people pronounce my name wrongly.
My dog is... nonexistent.
Kisses are... smoochy lol.
Tomorrow is... like every day.
I really want to talk... to him :(
I have low tolerance for... people who don't move to the back of the bus.

Was looking at my August05 entries just now cos I wanted to retrieve the fungi photos that I somehow deleted off my laptop when I reformatted it. Anyway that's besides the point. Read through some entries from the past and as that tsunami (perhaps this is one word I should eschew using) of memories came flooding back, bitterness - like driftwood - accompanied it. On retrospect, it strikes me how naive I've been over the past year. I guess in 2005 I must've been but a shadow of who I really am. I never lived for myself, but rather I stupidly lived according to someone's whims and fancies. There was a major misconception on my part that by aligning myself to someone's mindsets/demands, I'd gain his favour - which explains why for the most part of 05 my entries were miserably morbid, incoherent and plain emotional.

Which again leads me to realise that if not for all that drama, I probably wouldn't have been inspired to write, draw, create as much. Now that things have somewhat reached a more cheerful state, I can't help but notice my malignant lack of creative juices. Where words used to flow, there's now a maladroit viscosity. Where pencils used to dash across paper, there's now a sluggish pile of ooze. Perhaps it's true what they say - you're most creative when you're stuck in an emotional rut, cus that's when you're most in tune with your feelings and become more sensitive to your surrounding milieu.

It's a pity, honestly. I know it's not that I don't have the talent, I'm just kinda sucked barren now. I've made myself a promise - when I go abroad, I'm gonna pick up art again. Be it art history, fine art, graphic design.. whatever. I just want to do art again. I miss the scratchy feel of pencil on paper, I miss the sludgy, slippery sensation of dragging a paintbrush loaded with oilpaint across unstretched canvas. I miss observation, heightened sensitivity, accurate consideration of light & shadow, the subtleties and nuances that can be brought out - only if you look at the subject with not just your eyes, but your heart as well.




I don't think I've ever posted these up here. They were from A Levels 05. Not my best work, certainly. In fact I think this piece could've cost me my Distinction in Higher Art. D&P probably pulled me down so bad. Thank goodness I still got my A. Oh and here's a work-in-progress for my Coursework2005. Too bad I don't have the final photo.

Yesterday marked another FULLTEAM gathering - what a feat! I know how tough it is to organise team outings and make everybody come, so I'm gonna take it into my hands to organise the next one. We've made a pact to meet on the last sunday evening of every month, so this time it's gonna be 27th AUGUST. I'll really plan this one, I promise (: Anyway, photos!

Was getting into a cab from Aljunied MRT and I somehow bumped my head against the roof of the stupid vehicle and now there's a small bump that's really damn painful. Braaarrrgh. Was telling him about it just now and he got so worried. But it's really very painful even though it happened an hour ago. :(

Anyway I'm sick of the template. X3 is like so lastmonth. Thinking of making a Pirates one but once Pirates gets passe I'll have to change it again! Gosh. I need to DO something constructive for once.

Gonna meet Shiyin & Co. tomorrow! Haven't seen them in a milliontrillion years. Am very excited!

He just called. It's after 10pm so this means I'm a very unlucky person.

Every night we talk for 5 minutes. I ask him about the next day's program, and he asks me how my day was. Then I hear someone in the background yelling "lightsoutlightsout!!!" and he tells me he has to go. We exchange our goodnights and iloveyous and then.. we hang up.

I've tried starting off this post about fiftymillion ways, but somehow I keep hitting the "delete" button on my powerbook keypad, not knowing how to sufficiently continue my sentence. It's times like these when you feel so totally uninspired and sorry for yourself cos your life's so blah that you've got nothing to blog about. I think the only thing I can look forward to now is his call at around ten or earlier if I'm lucky. Armour's like ill-treating him or something! gaaaah. Callmecallmecallme. :(

Everytime I check my sitemeter I kinda wonder who on earth reads my blog. I mean, people actually google "vanessa wso fighter" and things like "vanessa njcanoeing", "vanessa sierra wing". Uh, wtf. It's actually kinda weird, like, where do my 70 readers a day come from huh huh huh. Not that I'm afraid of who's gonna read this - there's no point getting paranoid cos this is the bloody INTERNET. I don't mind random people reading this so that's why I don't passwordlock my blog, neither do I attempt to conceal my identity. I mean, if you're so afraid of people reading your Personal Stuff then why plaster it all over the internet? My point is that I'd really like to know who actually reads this thing - not that my life is currently exceptionally interesting. Yawn. So if you don't mind, leave a (unanonymous) tag and say hi. I may be from the SAF but I'm not all that aggressive. Seriously. :)))))))) (SEEEEE??)

Anyway people, for some entertainment, read this. The photos and italicised captions are by some tourist, and the rest are the author's own comments. Bloody hilarious, I tell you. Amazing how ignorant some people can be..

Italy won not because they were good enough, but because France made mistakes. To win because of another team's weaknesses does not prove that you're the top. France were damn bloody unlucky, but of course, you could easily blame Zizou for sending their morale plummetting. Oh well. For a team that comprises players that are well past their prime - some of whom have already seen their last World Cup - France played well. I'm still in disbelief that Italy won. I was really hoping that the older players in the French side could have the perfect fairytale ending for the last international game of their careers, but I guess some things are too much to ask for.

This week's the predeparture thing for the Ministry scholars. It's a bit boring, and we have to dress smartcasual - collared shirt and pants. I HATE COLLARS. And it's all like NE tours and talks. Today there was a speaker from Civil Service College who called Singapore's neighbours "unfriendly", and she said that "we can't count on Singaporeans to reproduce themselves so thats why we need foreign immigrants!" Technically, it's true, but she was so brusque! I don't know, but at that point - maybe it was monday blues - it got me really incensed. I mean, how can she put it in such a way that's practically devoid of tact? If sensitivity were a currency, she'd probably have to live off a soup kitchen. Then there was this other lady with her, who sorta reprimanded us for being restless, but yet as she was telling us off, that fake, plastic smile never left her face. It was as if we were flecks of dirt under her nose. I hate people who're twofaced.

Went to town with Dav after that to buy a blazer. (Stupid formal events) Managed to get a decent black one from Zara costing only $35! Such a steal. I hope I don't end up looking too executive and overdressed. Pah.

Apart from that, today was a good day. Breakfast at J8 foodcourt. Kwaychap, duckrice and Milo! I'm SO gonna miss local food when I go over. Then it was Superman! It was oooookay I suppose - the company was so much more important. JAMES MARSDEN IS SOOOO HOT. (Haha, you! don't get jealous k!) Haha and just as I'm typing this, he called from camp and spoke damn fast again saying he had "thirtysecondstolightsout" and so he wanted to "hearmyvoicethelasttimetonight" RAAHH. (:


Photowhoring in cabs. Damn fun haha. Oh here's photos from Bakerzin on Friday:

we're gonna watch supermanreturns tomorrow hurray.

went down to row with the juniors today. stupid k1. was veryvery unbalanced! Tilted right and my whole arm went into the water, but just as I was thinking "this is it" I somehow managed to defy gravity and push myself up again. I'm old and rusty.

Oh and i bought (ok, my dad bought for me) my Canon IXUS 800 todayyy, in preparation for going abroad. Manchester accepted me, but obviously, they don't want me to go there. PAH. Oh and even though I didn't accept NUS cos I lost my pin no, they sent me the letter offering me a direct major thingy. Erm this is really weird. I don't mind going NUS actually, but I'm not allowed.

samsam leaves for Melbourne tomorrow sighhh. take care there babe.

HAH. We sure did surprise sam today, albeit not in the way that was planned! Things were going well until Mel and Sam bumped into Dav who was supposed to be at a "party" and couldn't make it, then it started getting a bit fishy. Especially when Mel was like "UH! I need to go to your place NOW!" Haha. But Yif & I played our parts very well, Sam didn't even suspect a thing. Sigh. Bakerzin's food is darn good. Intending to eat there with him over the weekend, if he gets to book out. Oh, and I actually forgot that the venue was changed to Paragon instead of Raffles City, so I happily sat down at Bakerzin Raffles City and waited and waited.. plus I was SUPER early, so.. sigh. Thankfully I bumped into Zurong at Citylink so he sorta accompanied me for a while, to the absolute *delight* of his NDU friends. (Rolls eyes)

Sigh everyone's flying awaaaay. Don't get me started about how bad my uni situation is. sighsighsigh. Next week's predeparture course for all the Ministry scholars. I've looked at the program and it's like all NE stuff! UHHHHH?!?! Plus it ends superduper late which means I CANNOT watch nationals like wtffffff just shoot me. At least I'm gonna have Dav (MOE) with me so it won't be as painful. Siiigh.

Anyway I've got photos to post up but it's late, I've got training tomorrow. OKAY fine I'm just lazy. -_-

HE'S BACK!!!!

Oh and he took 93 all they way to Paya Lebar Airbase to meet me after I ended today. How sweet is that lol. But he has to book in tomorrow boohoo. GROWLS @ Armour.

Sigh I've concluded that MSN for Mac sucks bigggg time. It keeps disconnecting me, disrupting all my conversations.. stupidshitasscrap. It's like I'm typing something and suddenly poof it'll just disconnect. We already have so little time to talk to each other and yet it's doing this to me. I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS. If I go abroad then HOW! We can't survive with MSN that disconnects every 3 minutes!

Yay France won. Haha. I'm super random now.

Oh I read Reader's Digest lately about that courtesy article and was not surprised to find Asian countries like Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines ranked waaaay at the bottom. I've experienced a lot of rudeness in the service sector before, especially with annoying waitresses. (Knowing me, I'll give them a good talking-to) I hate waitresses who show me their stinking attitudes whenever I ask them to change something on my plate or help me get something. Makes me wanna douse them with Tabasco Sauce. Nevertheless, I was still quite.. shocked to see that Singapore was ranked that low. Even if many people don't believe in holding the door for others (that's something that I personally advocate, btw) it doesn't accurately reflect that Singaporeans are discourteous. Sure, there are a few black sheep out there that blemish the rest, but I must say that apart from irritating waitresses, Singaporeans in general are not that atrocious!

One thing that I really am ashamed of is the declining English standards in the country - both written and spoken. Was just telling Xi Jie & Jinping a few days ago how I absolutely abhor people who have bad diction and stress the wrong syllables etcetc. Call me snooty, but it's *important* to at least have a good command of spoken English in order to project a decent image. It wouldn't be that bad if we were all fluent in Mandarin instead, but the thing is, Singaporeans can't do BOTH languages sufficiently well so East&West, we're at a severe handicap. Well I suppose schools don't stress the importance of diction/phonics enough. Such stuff should be drilled from a young age, and kids these days are so much more into Math & Science to pay attention to their command of any language. Pity.

As I type this, MSN has disconnected at least 4 times.

"blahblahblahreruhaklkgkgjkfjghhfdghkshgg (incoherent superfast babbling) gjhgjshgaa bloopbloop raahhhhrrrwwgghh pffbbt and oh yah, iloveyou!"

OH NOOOOO. WHYWHYWHY OMG. My poor poor Ballack Klose Podolski Lahm & co. They deserved this more than Italy, seriously. They've been so consistent, slogging it out every match and proving that they've got the calibre, but Italy comes across to me as a bunch of showoffs. Sigh. Please let France win. Portugal doesn't deserve it either.

I have an insane craving for icecream. Think we should drop by Serene tomorrow! TOMORROW! zzz he's coming back at last! Goodgrief it seems like eons ago that he left for brunei. Smilesmilesmile.

Oh and 122 SQN is a nice place. The people there are always so happyy and cheerful hehe. They seemed really glad to see us :) Rahh today was just a vvvv good day I'm practically dizzy and weightless wheeeeeeee!

I just hate how monotonous and dour my life is getting. Everywhere I go I get asked the same things and I give the same answers. What's your vocation? (WSO Fighter) Why not pilot? (S211 training plane's too big) Why not UAV? (Didn't join the SAF to play remote control) Where you gonna study? (UK. No Uni as yet) RAAAAAARGH! It's so exasperating. Plus every airbase is the sameoldsameold, apart from the aircraft. Same structure, same system... blahhh.

Anyway, went to row yesterday with Daniel Wuuuuu, Daniel Seng and Huiying. It's like, I'm rowing with all the superpowerful and legendary people. Took K1. Sprinted. Boat tilted left and right. Inertia at the starts. Rusty. Then as I was trying to get onto the pontoon (something which I've - believe it or not - never done before) I kinda fell into the water. Bahh. So embarrassing. Plus there was the whole fiasco with the lifejacks and sliding them from under the gate. Damn fun.

I'm dying of boredom... zzz (the supercute expression he always uses). ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Hehehe. I realise that I've been leading an unfocused life lately. Everyday's just a lazy routine where everything's charted for you, where you just follow instructions and absorb information like a sponge. I can't even focus on uni like the rest are doing cos I ain't got a uni. At least Yeemeng's still got OCS to keep him occupied. Me? I have nothing but people from airbases asking me about uni and reminding me that I'm uni-less and getting me all worried. Okay that last sentence had one too many "and"s but I can't really be bothered blahblahblah zzzzzzz.

RAAAAAAHHH he's back from exercise mountain rat so it means I can msg/call him again! WHEEE. I'm superduper happy :) -bounce-

Oh and I'm damn stunned by Brazil's early exit! That renders my Germany-Brazil final theory totally inaccurate bah. I mean, who would've thought that France with all their geriatrics would upstage the samba kings? I mean, look at Brazil. Their team (apart from Fat Ron) are really quite a skilful and young team with the likes of Kaka (!!!), Ronaldinho etc. Up against the older French team (Zidane, Thuram) you'd expect them to have it easy, but noooooo. That means I can't watch fancyfootwork anymore. Poo.

Argentina, Holland, Spain, England (seee! I told you they were gonna go out), Ukraine, Czech Republic, Australia... and now Brazil. It's strange having so many powerhouses out, of which Argentina & Brazil were actually hot favourites.. Now we've got Italy, France, Portugal, Germany in the semis and it's tough to say who's gonna win cos all of them have got great squads.

As for England.. I can't believe people are actually SURPRISED to see them get kicked out. On my part, I'm surprised that they actually got that far. They said that Rooney was supposed to be the one to help them win the cup, but the mother of ironies came when he played a part in getting them OUT by lasting only 62 minutes with a typical act of brainlessness, reducing England to 10 men. Flops of the England squad: Wayne Rooney, Michael Owen, Frank Lampard, John Terry. No question. Plus, now they've got Becks stepping down as skipper. Not a pretty sight, I must say. Who's to blame? Maybe after Sven leaves, things will be better?

For now, it's GO GERMANYYY woohoo :)

Today's races were good. Especially the girls! I think we did damn well considering that we've NEVER trained together as a fullboat before. Somehow I ended up being powerpack cos according to Dianne I look like a powerpack - when in actual fact I've always been pacer since forever. Strange! Anyway, tomorrow's the semis. Yay. Damn proud of the juniors! They're doing very well now :)

Just came back from dinner with the family. Korean ginseng chicken at Crystal Jade + Korean BBQ. It was amaaaazing. Makes me yearn to go back to Korea again, not just for the food but for the atmosphere, and to soak up the Seoul vibe. Okay I'll list the places I wanna go for my honeymoon. Ahem, the person involved please take note. (Although you're in bruneijungle now but when you come backkkkk.... -grin-)

1. Venice
2. Prague
3. Provence
4. Korea
5. Egypt
6. Bali
7. Maldives.

Shall stop at 7 cos it's our favourite number hooray.

Yeah ohyah, GERMANY WON WAHOO. Some might think it's a conspiracy but I do believe that the Deutschland squad has the calibre in the likes of Podolski, Klose, Ballack, Frings and Lehmann (hero of the penalty shootout) to go far in the tournament. I still stand by my original prediction of a Germany-Brazil final though, and I still maintain that tonight Portugal's gonna beat England. Bye Sven!