when time and confusion collide

Flowers outside Forbidden Palace, Beijing.

The summer days are gone too soon
You shoot the moon
And miss completely
And now you're left to face the gloom
The empty room that once smelled sweetly
Of all the flowers you plucked if only
You knew the reason
Why you had to each be lonely
Was it just the season?

Now the fall is here again
You can't begin to give in
It's all over

When the snows come rolling through
You're rolling too with some new lover
Will you think of times you've told me
That you knew the reason
Why we had to each be lonely
It was just the season

Norah Jones -- Shoot the Moon

So, sue me if I say that Chinese New Year this year is about as interesting as watching paint dry. I spent my morning playing Civilization III and trying to make Japan build a tactical nuke by 1920. (I failed) But the food was excellent, as usual. Looks like one thing never changes around here - my mom and my aunt's amazing culinary skills that make you look at their daughter and niece respectively and go "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO HER??"

Was helping out with Sierra Wing's steamboat preparation on Thursday and I managed to drop/break crabsticks while peeling them out of the plastics, prompting Lta Chan to label me a kitchen hazard. Hey - what's wrong with cutting tofu diagonally? It's more kitschy than having the usual tofu cubes no? Ok fine, lets keep things short and sweet, my future husband has GOT to be an Officer who can cook because Penny and I have decided (after Lta Peh's description) that we want a military wedding, and also because.. I can't cook. Don't know about Penny though. Heh.

Tommorow will be more exciting. (I hope) Maybe if my family stuff ends around two-ish, then I'll get my dad to drive me over to Mr Yong's house to join the team there. I want to take photos with Justin, Junxu etc. You know, since they're all hairless. Then I can tell them how OCS is pretty okay, while Tekong's prolly like the gutter. Fwahahaha.

Okay, I'M ALIVE PEOPLE. I'M ALIIIIVE!

Army life's been treating me good. Slowly getting my chinups back on track. Can do 10 now. Yayee. My first 2.4 time trial was like.. oh my god, I had no idea I could run so slowly. HAHA. I'm Physical Training I/C, which is a very slack job, cos all I gotta do is lead the platoon for exercises and record their chinups. My inclined chinups now stands at 30, and it's not arms perpendicular okay, it's go ALL THE WAY till your chin touches the bloody bar which is - I swear - much higher than the normal bars..

Anyway apart from that, it's been regimentation and more regimentation. Standardize field packs! Standardize SBOs! Standardize bunks! So all 22 of us are like clones of each other, not exactly disparate from a factory assembly line. Nevertheless, I suppose I haven't harboured even a tinge of regret for choosing the road less travelled. I mean, who gets to have a M16 rifle for a husband? (Yeah, that's what they tell you. You're rifle is your husband) Who gets to throw grenades and take cover in insect-infested forests? Not many girls I know, definitely. Not many girls get to experience 24km route marches in full battle order.. yadayada.

5BX every morning at 545am.. "Platoon face half-left, push up position down!" - that's what I say every morning till it's practically my mantra. It's kinda hard to get to sleep at night what with the mosquito/spiders coming out for their dinner parties but nevertheless, it's been manageable. I do get kinda tired in the day, and have to fight really hard to stay awake during lessons though. Oh, my field camp is from 7-11 Feb, and I'm very apprehensive about it.. digging trenches and guarding my rifle to death lest the instructors steal it.. but on the other hand, I'm still looking forward to it!

Oh and I'm really missing everyone.. so hopefully can make time during the festivities to meet up with you guys okay.. esp my beloved canoe girls. MISS YOU ALL LIKE HELL. It's so weird running round e track and seeing "OCS" on the singlets and not the "long" word. SIGH.

Today's my last day as a civilian - if you can put it that way, and it was spent well. Lunch at Lerk Thai (Xintian kept insisting it's JERK thai hahaha) Marina Square with the girls team was fantastic as usual. Really thank all of them for spending time with me before I enlist. Esp Leepeng who rushed all the way down from work. So touched. I can't wait for the 10th (hari raya holiday) then I can meet up with everyone again!

Then Sentosa after that. Right place, right company (: We walked from one end of Siloso to the other and just had lots of fun. When we were at the toilet, saw a very Derwin-like shape, then saw his pink slippers and realised that YA OMG it's Derwin. Well have to thank Weejin for treating me to dinner ya. The humongous half-chicken from Breeks. Gosh. I'm so overwhelmed.

Came home to my parents fussing over my packing and got so annoyed haha. They're damn funny. Oh and thanks Junxu for calling me specially when I supposedly "ignored" you on MSN. Really appreciate it ya. Plus the others for their well wishes. See you all when I book out on the 10th (hopefully), if not then on the 17th! BYEEE I'll miss you people.

I'm tired. Went out the whole day today with my family to buy my Chinese New Year clothes. I hogged the fitting room at this shop at Parkway cos the salesgirl kept gushing and trying to convince me that every single top/skirt/dress I wore looked fabulous. In the end bought 4 tops and 2 skirts, but tried on like.. 20+ pieces? Total bill was abt $211 but I promised my dad I'll pay him back once I get my salary. Yeah it was a good family outing. Had Sungei Road laksa (!!) for lunch then Starbucks Mango Frappe/Potato Salad and then Marine Parade's FAMOUS Char Kway Teow (!!!) for dinner. Sinful yes, but argh what the heck. My last few days of freedom!

Oh and I started 2006 by almost beating someone up. Bloody salesgirl at Giant. She insulted my dad behind his back, and I heard it. I was so furious and I think my sister had to keep telling me to relax. Bitchface. Sorry for the violence but, well I guess there ARE times when my temper explodes.

Spent my NYE watching Liverpool beat West Brom 1-0. I think the team has grown more and more confident and it's a pleasure watching them. Then Justin dropped by at an UNGODLY hour of 1250am to collect his present. It's scary to realise that everything is gonna CHANGE starting 2006. I'm gonna have to be more independent, more resilient, more determined, and less pampered come 03 Jan. Well. Was reading through my archives and I realised that I've not really changed much since last year. Perhaps 06 is the year for major overhaul? I don't know.