when time and confusion collide

Lit's been relatively ok. But something tells me that I won't do well. Can just feel it. It's the same for GP and History tomorrow too. Everything seems wrong. I shant even go into how I thought the Lit Paper 1 was 1.5h instead of 2, so at 450 I was running to the front to get paper. Then at 505, I was like "why isn't Dio stopping us??!?!" After that, I realised, and I died on my table.

Even though it's all screwed up, there's of course one saving grace :) Thank you for making me feel special!

I've seen the look in your eye

I've seen you wondering why

There's a centre of gravity

Brings you near to me

Nearer all the time

Damien Rice - O
Oasis - Don't Believe the Truth
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor

If anyone is rich enough, you could get me the albums and I'll LURVE you forever :D

You could hurt me with your bare hands

You could hurt me

Using the sharp end of what you say

But I'm lost to you now

And there's no amount of reason

That could save me

EEP. Just realised how much there is to cover for Herbert, since I didn't TOUCH it during the March CTs. I hope the trend of "the more I study the worse I do" breaks as of this CTs. I'm actually tabulating the gist of Herbert so I have stuff to write tomorrow. Wow. This hard work really surprises me.

People are still laughing at me. You can't blame me right!! "Brigitte" really sounds like "Weejin" when you articulate it! So bloody embarrassing!

I love pretty lyrics :)

Math and GP were just. BADBADBAD. Sighhhhh. Looks like there goes my straight A record for GP.

Free day tomorrow. So I can sleep in! Yay.

Oh my god what am I DOING, I'm doing one-liners.

Sometimes, I really wish I knew what's going through your mind. You want to make me happy, but yet you intentionally do things that make me upset. Penny for your thoughts? No, make that ten bucks. I'm pretty desperate.

I'm awake again. Even after rowing four races today. It must be the adrenaline.

I'm glad I know now how you really feel. I don't see how you can deny that things are taking a turn. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Although now we talk about the future as if it's nothing but a technicoloured sea breeze. Like it's something pretty, something of spun silk. Golden threads of nostalgia draped over misty gazebos. But everything pretty has to end, and things of beauty have this annoying tendency to be fleeting and transitory.

Nothing is certain. I don't know if things will change tomorrow. Or in the next hour. Perhaps one day that dreaded message will arrive. "1 New Message", and the contents would be bitter. Then I'll take my phone and hurl it out the window. One day, maybe, the compromise would be (unwillingly) struck, and everything will just cease to exist.. nothing but a faded illusion of the not-so-distant past. One day, you might just change your mind and realise that you've made the biggest mistake of your life. Maybe you'll end up hurting someone you thought you cared about. Wait - maybe you never cared about her, but you coerced and hypnotised yourself into believing that you cared about her. Maybe it was all just a masquerade. "IcareIcareIcare" If you say that enough times, you might just start believing in it.

From the way things are now, it's nothing but flux. Give me something that I can fall back on. Something that solidifies, and doesn't just linger.. then disappear in wisps of smoke. When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring. This is so.. unnerving. Fuck, just be a little nicer will you? I'm really trying to find your sincerity here. Digging a hole in the soil, but never finding your buried treasure.

I just pressed the SHIFT key five times without realising. Stickykeys gets turned on. That's so cool.

Weejin - sorry for worrying you today.. I really don't know what got over me. I just.. cracked. In my mind, I kept telling myself to snap out of it, but I couldn't fight the senseless paranoia. Despondently staring into space, eyes vacant, fingers twirling my pen.. I don't know. Really. It was as if I was schizo or something. Like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Even when he kept asking me if I was okay, I just couldn't articulate. Even opening my mouth to utter some semblance of a decibal was like asking me to perform hara kiri. Looking back, it was scary, if I say so myself. I don't blame him for getting so freaked and worried about the state I was in. Honestly, I don't know what happened to me. Sorry.. it's all good now :)

Oh my dad's boss will be racing with the Hong Kong DB team tomorrow, so he'll be down, armed with a camera. YAY. Photos!

We're at the top of the world, you and I.

We've got alot of time and it sure feels right.

Cause you reached in your pocket

And pulled out a pass that says you can take me anywhere.

Somehow, doing math with you makes things a whole lot more FUN :) Who gives a shit about what others say? Staying true to ourselves is all that matters. It's your quirky idiosyncracies, your habitual pinching of my nose, your penchance for shooting crushed ice. The bottle of paper stars still sits on my desk, a myriad of colours that represent you you you. (and me) Blissful and giddy delirium. Tickle tickle tickle. (NOT FAIR!) I wanna eat an apple. Cavenagh Bridge. Anderson Bridge. The Fullerton Toilet. Rotiboy. Steak. (boy, you can cook!) Changi Airport. ck one. You're perfect k? I know you are!

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice

Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

So sing while you have time

Let the sun shine down from above

And fill you with songs of love

I was thinking a LOT last night cos I couldn't get to sleep (what's new??). Thought about the past - albeit promising myself not to. About the people I knew (or thought I knew). I guess in lieu of the recent body parts murder thing, we really can't trust anyone. Someone whom you thought was unblemished and trustworthy might turn out to be your biggest foe. Even in Silas Marner, when William Dane betrays Silas, George Eliot is deliberately trying to show us that even your best friend is capable of setting you up and screwing you over. Unfortunately, I think I've trusted people too easily. People ask me "what do you see in XXX???!". Although there are times when XXX treats me like shit, there's a good side, and more often than not, I choose to see the good side and neglect the bad. I mean, why pick on people's faults when there are far more glorious things to talk about?

What object would I choose to represent myself? This question is something that I've been thinking about, and finally, I decided on a blank canvas. Apt, because I do art, and also because of the more intrinsic meaning. A blank canvas holds no strings attached. It's plain, white, pure, unblemished and innocent. What you see is what you get. I won't say that I'm "pure and innocent" but I suppose the fact that I'm always there, ready for the world and what it offers, really makes a blank canvas represent who I am. Eventually, I might get scribbled on, might have paint drizzled/splashed on, get cut up, and have my appearace drastically and irrevocably altered, but underneath all the onion layers of crap piled on me, I'm still who I am. Plain, simple. On the surface, complex, but underneath, it's just ME. No holds barred.

Wow, I really don't know what's the point of this entry. Just wanted to write, I suppose. Bearing in mind the tough few months ahead, I guess I'm ready to fly, and my world stops only when my feet fail to touch the solid ground.

My dad came back from Germany today, with $100+ worth of - get this - CHOCOLATES. There's the Mozart one, mints, pralines, and the best - coffee filled chocs. Gosh. After national schools I'm gonna sit in front of the tv and just gorge myself silly.

Oh and he brought back the Hospitality Pass from the Germany vs Tunisia match. He got VIP tickets cos his friend is the sponsor or something. Tres cool. He gets dinner, snacks and stuff. Uber fun! Wish I could have been there watching too. The Germans apparently have a lot of spirit, and they cheer really differently from Singapore at soccer matches. The commentator would go "Michael..." and the stadium would chorus "BALLACK!!!!!", same with "Oliver....KAHN!!!" Fantastic.

I spent today doing things I shouldn't be doing. Ha. Weejin: your hamsters are really really cute! Stop sleeping! Haha :)

The blood donation drive thing was a big disappointment to me. I was initially afraid of not meeting the weight requirement, but then again I decided to go ahead and try my luck. The machine at SGH showed that I just met the requirement, contrary to the 44.3kg when I weighed at school, so imagine my euphoria when the doctor told me to go ahead.

Then the iron test. I passed that too, and was led into the main donation room, only to have my hopes crushed and the nurse saying "xiao jie, ni gen ben dou mei you vein" - meaning that they couldn't even SEE the damn vein to draw blood from. So I told her to try on the other arm, and try again and again but still.. sigh. I didn't really show my disappointment, but I was. Really.

Ever since I was a little kid of about 4, I used to go with my dad to blood banks and watch while he donated blood. I remember him explaining to me how important the blood we donate can be to people who need it. Albeit the fact that I'm B+ (The blood group which they have the MOST supply of and is available in extra amounts), you really never know what might happen. So since I was young, I'd dreamed of being a blood donor, and for two years I have NEVER hit the weight requirement. Now that I've finally made it, they tell me they can't find my vein. Sigh.

But I found out that I'm the same blood type as weejin :)

Sometimes people really really disappoint me.

Flag Day today with Chew, Vin, Yingqin, Andrew, Szewei, Jason and Thong. (who left to meet dawn) I met my mom in town in between to cut my hair and bought a new pair of earrings. Then went back to Bugis to meet the guys. Funny how I always end up being the only girl. They were bumming around in the arcade so I dragged Andrew to actually DO some work. We eachtook one end of the Bugis marketplace and I was approached by this old guy who asked me to BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. I was fucking freaked out, especially when he refused to go away and kept lurking next to me. So I called Andrew and he came to rescue me. Hahaha. If not for that sicko I'd prolly have collected more. Gah.

Here's to another day - wasted.

It's kinda crazy. I ended up meeting Weejin at City Hall for a walk + shopping. Good grief. Was feeling kinda upset so I stormed into HMV, headed for the nearest CD rack and grabbed an album. Walked to the checkout counter and realised that I was holding Coldplay's X&Y. Fantastic. I've been wanting the album ever since I heard Speed of Sound. It must be fate. Anyway, I hardly do any impulse shopping so this is kinda rare. It was fun though. Haha. Dragged Weejin around from shop to shop till he was like "ARE WE GONNA GO TO EVERY SINGLE SHOP?!??!!?" Gee. Guys. Why don't they understand?

I think yesterday was really a time for me to put my foot down and be firm and stop constantly giving in to you. Not that I mind, but it's gotten a little out of control. I think I have to be more assertive, and stop being led around on a leash. When I say I want something done, you DO IT. Just like how you want me to do. If you can demand stuff, so can I.

Anyway, I'm quite sad that camp is over. I think the team really really bonded. Especially our group for the Long Distance race. Justin, Chew, Thong, Caleb, Cejin, Suihang, Leepeng, Brigitte, Vivien plus me. We came in first overall, and I rowed T2 with Caleb for 13.75km. It was a challenge, cos I've been rowing K since after SDBA last year, and I must say it was a real enriching experience. Then after that, Mr Yong asked us to reshuffle and I took K2 with Cejin for another 6km. Must say that I'm really impressed with both of them and I think they have a lot of potential.

Weejin! T1 champ. So darn proud of you, and I'm sure Yong is as well. Take good care of your disgusting wound please. Thong said it looked like PUDDING. Good grief. Anyway, gonna MUGMUGMUG. Haha. Finally.

GOSH, how I miss dinner at beach road. The chawanmushi there beats the ones at sakae and yoshinoya HANDS DOWN. Weejin! You should listen to your mom and SMILE MORE! Thanks for taking 100 with me to Kallang MRT, and for dinner :) Though I still maintain the fact that you're a fatpig. You win in ice-shooting though. Hit me three times in all three tries, but you cheated cos you pulled my straw while I was stuffing ice in it. Good grief, we're like two little kids.

Tomorrow's swimming at delta. Then there's technical at Macritchie and weights in the afternoon. Weejin can bench press more than twice my weight. We were discussing on the bus all about gym and how our backs ached like a bloody mofo. And I broke my glasses. The lens chipped. Wow, what a klutz.

This entry is erratic. crazy, inane, mundane, idiosyncratic, random, disorganised, superfluous and irrelevent. And it seems to be revolving around ONE topic. How meaningless! Gonna call fatpig now to recite the camp programme to him cos his internet conked. Gah.

woah woah says:
VAN!!!
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
yessssssssss
woah woah says:
what time are you waking up dear
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
6
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
i'm cabbing to school
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
haha why
woah woah says:
damn
woah woah says:
i want a morning call at 5
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
SIAO LAH
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
who e heck wakes up at five??!?!?!
woah woah says:
me.....and mr yong
woah woah says:
hmm
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
HAHAH
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
ask yong to call u
woah woah says:
that's right....I could ask him
woah woah says:
he's probably still marking anyway
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
he's prob still marking now
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
hahahahah
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
great minds think alike
woah woah says:
doh
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
hehehehehehe
can't take my eyes off you fatpig. says:
goodness if ure waking up at five then pls go sleep
woah woah says:
who cares about intellect?
woah woah says:
I just want you van!

It must be the fact that Chunhow hasn't packed his bag for camp tomorrow. And the fact that it's midnight. Hoho.

Justin. NICE TRY. I won't fall for this kinda thing. I aint dumb you know. Might be a wee bit airheaded at times, but no wayyy :):)

I've been shuttling to and fro from my books to the com to update the camp programme and upload everything onto km cos people keep messaging me about changes. I'm going crazy. I don't care. I'm NOT editing anything anymore. Hoho. Not like everyone will check km today. Looks like I gotta make little notes on the camp schedule and inform the ICs of the day. Gosh. Craziness. And I haven't packed. AAAAAARGH.

My dad's in Germany and he gets to watch the CONFEDERATIONS CUP. Germany VS Tunisia. Michael Ballack arrrrrgh! So freaking lucky. His friend's bringing him so he doesn't have to pay a single cent. Hope he comes back with gummy bears. German gummy bears are surprisingly springy and chewy. The ones here are terribly soft :(

I can't believe I just slept for three hours. Woke up at an ungodly time of 645 this morning to hitch a ride from my dad to bedok cos he had to send my sisters to their respective places first. Then went to Paya Lebar MRT and collected a fatpig. Haha. Then after the race my parents sent fatpig, chew, szewei and david to Aljunied MRT. I came home, had dinner and was dead to the world after that.

I've completed globalisation. At last. Tomorrow I think I'm gonna have to do Brave New World and Herbert. Gosh I really have zero idea how I'm gonna complete everything. But you know what? I'm strangely calm and serene about flunking this common tests. No panic at all. Oops.

WAAAH Ms Chan is in the papers. So powerful. Haha :) Really really proud of her achievements. See what Art does to you? Heh heh.

Anyway, thanks for accompanying me today! Haha Weejin's reeeeeeeeaaal mean. He calls girls fat. Terrible. I wonder what he says about me behind my back. Thank goodness I'm not obese. Haha.

The lie is that you're pretty.

The truth is that you're really beautiful.

-insert grin here-

I'm in AR21 now. woohoo i love the mac. heh. anyway is post shall be devoid of capital letters from now on. drawing a foetus now. its quite a bad drawing cos i can't get the shading to be smooth enough. i'm perfectionist like that. ok this is getting to be quite an inane post. like davies and aston's conversation in the caretaker. so, how's the weather?

i miss ij so much it hurts. i miss the convent uniform. the blue and white. sigh. i haven't gone back to visit in really really long. miss st raphael's block. the gigantic hill. the horrible canteen. the art studio. sigh. i miss the old site at toapayoh too. i miss walking to the hardware shop and the convenience stores to buy instant noodles for late-night art mugging survival. i miss stealing mr tan's food from his minifridge. and it just SUCKS that the ij aep gathering at nydc clashes with the camp so i can't go. i wanna cry.

You took your coat off, and stood in the rain.

You were always crazy like that.

And I watched from my window,

Always felt I was outside looking in on you.

You were always the mysterious one with

dark eyes and careless hair.

You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care.

You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say,

Besides some comment on the weather.

Spending half your day in the art room, churning out sketch after sketch can be really fun, especially if you have great company. I've officially broken away from perfectionism, I'm glad to say. Quick sketches but yet capturing the NUANCES AND SUBTLETIES. Yay. Only thing was that Veli replayed her CD a grand total of four times while I was there. Good grief. I could have died. Looking forward to friday when we can spend ANOTHER day cooped up there. Eh, I'm gonna be there from 11 onwards yeah.. Hope jerome comes too so we can have another longlong conversation about everything under the sky :)

Oh finally fell asleep at 430am this morning. Woke up at 745. Haha and I'm oddly wide awake. Gee.

Amidst all the uncertainty in this world, I'm dead sure about one thing. I'm an insomniac. It's been intermittent for a week already, and I did some internet research. It's probably acute insomnia. After lying around in bed for two hours I decided to do something productive. Given the dragonboat race this weekend I have no idea how I'm gonna complete everything that I targetted by this week.

So I'm off to study Pinter. According to many sites, if you do something when you can't fall asleep, you get sleepier. Whoopee. If that doesn't work I'm gonna try to sleep with my head facing north (according to one website). Only that I don't know where north is. Let's see. Toa Payoh is to the LEFT, but I can't sleep to the left cos that's the wall. Oh well.

We cabbed to town for nothing. By the time we got there, the dance was over so BAH. Wasted money.

To YOU: Look, all you've done to try to salvage this is a big fat NOTHING. So don't apologise for what you've done cos you'd be apologising for nothing, which completely nullifies your apology in the first place. You don't avoid me like the plague, then suddenly try to make small talk with me all over again and expect me to smile and be nice. It just doesn't work that way dammit. I know that it's nothing but a sham when you speak to me like it's all okay cos it's NOT. You've let me down and I'm fucking disappointed. You say that I've always thought the worst of you, but I say that the reason why I'm so hurt was that I thought too highly of you. That I thought you were different. I made the biggest mistake of valuing the friendship too much, of thinking that you valued it as much as I did. God, I must have been bloody deluded. It's that feeling of being thrown aside like a worthless piece of trash, and this is NOT the first time. You know my past bad experiences, and yet you had to inflict the same wounds again.

Do I want you erased from my life? YES. I really wish I never had known you to begin with. That's how much it's screwed. I really wish I'd never met you, much less gotten close to you.

But, YOU: All I need sometimes is just a little apology to solve things. Sometimes you really make me feel like shit. Am I giving more than I'm receiving? I think so. I think I've really put in a lot, and I don't know if you appreciate it. Do you think it's FAIR to me? I just seem to be getting major question marks everywhere. Nothing seems certain, and your assurances don't really translate into anything tangible that I can actually grasp and place my faith in. It all seems so hazy..

Yet to cover:

All of Math (During Camp)
All of last year's History SEA (During Camp)
Pinter (4th Week)
Silas Marner (4th Week)
Brave New World (This week)
Herbert (This week)
Some of UN (This week)
Art - D&P (Ongoing)
Art - Coursework (Ongoing)
Last Lecture of S'pore Politics (Later)
Globalisation of Cold War - Latin America, Korea, Vietnam, Middle East (This week)

Looks like a lot. Shitness. I think I'm gonna do really really badly. But one thing I really wish to salvage is my Art grade. I haven't seen anything less than an A in Sec. Sch but here I'm only getting Bs. MOE must be thinking that they gave the AEP Scholarship to the wrong person. Geez.

Since, we're on LISTS, Name 20 of your friends at random . Don't look at the questions, just name your friends first.

Weejin
Dav
Cher
Sam
Bea
Mel
Yif
Chewy
Mindy
Shiwei
Henry
Vin
Amanda
Xintian
Huiying
Thong
Justin
Wong
Shumin
Leepeng

Who is #8 going out with?: no one.

Would #11 and #2 go out?: OH MY GOD HENRY AND DAV. are you all reading this??

How about #18 and #4?: NO! No way they're both attached.

What grade is #17 in?: J2

When was the last time you talked to #12?: Today, during training

What is #6's favorite band?: Mel has eclectic tastes. Dashboard?

Does #1 have any siblings?: No, fatpig's the only child :)

Would you ever date #3?: Uhm no, Junkai would kill me

Would you ever date #7?: Yifang, I know you have a crush on me. gee.

Is #16 single?: Nope.

What's #15's last name?: Ang

What's #5's middle name?: Erm, bea, do you have one?

What's #10's fantasy?: Ask sam!

Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?: Xintian and Shumin know each other so well, so yeah. HA!

Tell me a random fact about #11?: I took 151 with him today to school.

Have you ever had a crush on #16?: No. nonononono

Are #5 & #6 best friends?: Bea and Mel are pretty tight :)

Does #7 like #20?: Why are all the couple things same gender? NO!

How did you meet #15?: Canoeing!

My dad is a GENIUS. I tend to forget stuff so he told me to write a note and stuff it in my shoe or scotchtape it to my slippers, so I'll see it in the morning or before I go for training. SO SMART. Too bad, it doesn't exactly run in the family. Haha.

Oh and I can't believe Man U bought Van Der Sar!!! GOSH. They must be really really desperate. (Don't kill me andrew!) Can't believe pool are going for RAUL. They must be really desperate. HAHA. Man, I'm dissing my own team! I saw the list of players at Liverpoolfc.tv and as I scrolled I just went. WHAT?! Raul, Figo, Pablo Aimar, John O'shea, Jermain Pennant. Gosh, the last thing I want is pool turning into a Real Madrid - stickerbook of superstarflops.

For D&P - I think I'm going with the topic "Intersect". Something related to my coursework I think. How everyone is dependent on one another. How every human is a parasite somewhat. A correlation, where all our lives intersect. Perhaps it'll be something romantic, or something factual or maybe even one that's deeply conceptual. I don't know. Pah.

I spent an hour aligning my tables and coding, messing with Photoshop and uploading/reuploading everything onto photobucket and I STILL haven't gotten rid of the curse horizontal scrollbar. It's an EYESOREEE!

I think that dead roses look so much better than live ones. Especially when they shrivel up, and the petals are not as bloodred as before, but more of a deep, passionate purplish magenta. When the petals and leaves harden, it makes it (ironically) even more fragile cos any nudge can make the whole rose - petals, sepals, leaves - fall apart. Beautiful. Even in death can things be so poignant and alluring. Beauty in decay. One of nature's many wonders.

Managed to catch the "Incomplete" video (by the Backstreet Boys) on MTV today. (I tried to go on like I never knew you). I must say that the video itself is a work of art. Water, fire, snow, earth, wind.. all the elements were there. I think it was a really well-shot video. Camera angles and stuff were pretty good too. As the scenes flashed by, I could almost imagine every single landscape/object as a photograph by itself. Composition wise - it was amazing. Was rather caught up by the artfulness of it all that I ignored the fact that this was a boyband video. I'm not particularly fond of the song though, although the lyrics are pretty meaningful. It could have been better - the songwriting. The idea of loss could have been better expressed in more abstract sentences. I totally loathe lyrics that are straightforward. Songwriting should be like poetry.

What am I doing?! I'm PracCrit-ing lyrics! Oh well. I finished The Solitaire Mystery. It's so fantasy and yet so philosophical. The only thing I know is that I know nothing - Socrates. Would really like to visit Athens sometime. The Oracle. The muses. Oedipus complex. Poseidon. Greek mythology really really fascinates me. Especially all the goddesses and stuff. So pretty :)

I'm a pig. After training went for brunch at Adam Road, then went home and SLEPT FOR FIVE HOURS. Wonderful! Well done van!

Yay, tomorrow's dragonboat training whoopee. I miss db. It's such a TEAM thing you know? Plus I don't have to take forever to get home, and we get to go to Kallang again! Miss KL water sososososo much, and we'll have proper bathing facilities too! Ah, gone are those days. :(

In the process of uploading all the photos on KM. It's A LOT lah. We took about 70 shots. I took out the blurred ones though. Now you all know why the battery went kaput. Heh. I love love love you girls. Mindy and I were saying how we could never dream of rowing for another team next time when we go Uni or something, cos it just wouldn't be the same. You girls are amazing. The tears, squabbles, injuries, laughter, bimboticness.. we've seen it all.

We went to Amoy street today to have fishbeehoon. Funny how I'm anti-fish but yet I love fishbeehoon cos of the soup. I had the noodles and soup only. How starchy. Haha. Plus the spareribs and the to die for egg tofu. yummm. A meal for four people at a hawker centre costing $38. But it was worth it. I haven't eaten there for YEARS. Brings back loads of memories..

Did you miss me?

Hmm, let me think.. don'thavedon'thavedon't have..

I'm going CRAZY. I keep typing my URLs as wwwww. No kidding. I press the w five times. It's happened quite a number of times today already, and it's always five. No more, no less. Sometimes I really truly wonder what my brain is up to. Cognition? Nuh-uh.

Today was good fun! Started off with a trip to Alexandra Hospital to collect my insoles, then jetted all the way to the airport to meet the girls to celebrate Chiteng's birthday and to see Peishan off. Our bill for Swensens totalled up to $322 for 21 people. Hoho. It was pure SINFUL indulgence indeed. Apple/Banana Crumble sizzling hot. Watching the waitress pour molten caramel sauce onto the mound of clean vanilla ice cream perched almost lazily on top of a golden brown pastry, I was sent to heaven. When I had a taste, the richness of the pastry just started melting in my mouth, a bevy of saccharine flavours. Plus baked rice and half a seafood chowder breadbowl (shared with Jasmin) AND two slices of Bengawan Solo mango cake.. gosh. To think I was still hungry after that...?

Then came the photo spree. I can't post anything up now because YOU GIRLS FLATTENED MY CAMERA BATTERY! We took like a motherload of pictures. Jeans together, skirts together.. black shirts/white shirts/psychadelic colours.. It was trigger happy times infinity. We were making such a din outside Swensens that I'm surprised they didn't chase us away. After that, me and Mindy took a train to town just to take neoprints cos I'm a deprived child and I haven't taken one for eons.

Had a really really good time in town, especially since I had a chance to talk to Mindy about stuff that's going on lately. I guess Mindy's always been a person I could talk to. Telling her things I've not told others, not shown others. We agreed on one thing though - how guys can be so poisonous. When they're interested in you, they treat you like a goddess, but once that interest starts to wane, they chuck you aside like an expired can of whatever.

Mindy: Maybe there's someone else

Me: I think there is.

Mindy: OMG SO FAST!! SLAP HIM!!!!!!

Heh. Silly violent girl. I guess it's like a common trait amongst guys - a short attention span. Is it a waste? Yeah, it sure is. But I think I've done enough, at least, I've done my part. It was refreshing to hear things for her point of view, and since she's with me on most things, I suppose that means I'm relatively sane. I guess no one but her can understand how much it stings, cos it was her who stuck by me last year when things started going amok. Now that it's a re-enactment, I'm glad that she's around for me. I LOVE YOUUU :)

AH, yet another template again. How superfluous. Oh well. My glasses keep sliding off my nose and that means I'm going to the optician in town again. This time I'm only gonna bring like ten cents so I won't be tempted to shop.

Sometimes it gets REALLY flattering. I'm still kinda ambivalent, but you know what, I think I'm just gonna pull a carpe diem. Hey, how many people actually get this opportunity? Life is, after all, short, and I'm gonna try everything that it offers. It's all about experience, and not forgetting a whole lot of fun. Watch upcoming issues of the Sunday Times (Sports section) for more updates. Heh.

Went to KAP to mug with Chew, and bumped into Szewei and Favian there. We were having a whole lotta fun gossiping and bluffing Vin through sms about some stuff. It was super hilarious. I have officially started revision. Woohoo. Like they say, better late than never huh? Then the three guys decided to go watch the touchrug match, but I stayed at kap myself. My beatified stance didn't last long though, cos I decided to go collect my glasses with my mom in town.

..of course, you all know what happened next, but I swear, it was my MOM. She refused to go home, and dragged me from store to store. Bought new slippers, two new Nike shirts from the sports bazaar thing at Isetan. Three books from Kino (The Solitaire Mystery, The Orange Girl and Room with a View). I really honestly tried to get my mom to go home. Really. And now I feel SO incredibly guilty.

Podiatrist appointment tomorrow, then gonna meet the girls team at the airport yayee. (HAHA CHEW. LOOK PROPERLY, it's YAYEE) Expect loads of photos! (Accompanied with guilt for spending yet another day out) Now, off to do art, amigos :)

There are times which really compel me to SMILE. Not a fake one, but a true genuine one :)

Like today after training, Weejin accidentally chucking water at Mr Yong. You should have seen the LOOK on your face. It was so funny that I totally forgave you for initially targeting me in the first place. Hoho. I swear, after that, me and thong were like DYING of laughter. Gosh. Good times.

It's when you become so adorably childlike and start shooting crushed ice at me through your straw. Not once, not twice but like five times, and giggling everytime the ice hits me smack on my cheek.

And above it all, this ruthlessness and bitchiness makes me happy.