Nothing in this world could have prepared me for all the pent up feelings which I finally let out today. Thank you to the exco for being there. I'm real sorry that I wasn't able to contribute much to the meeting cos I was so distracted. I guess it was really too much for me to handle at that moment of time. The despair, loss of hope, self-blame, anger.. everything just spilled. Yelling through the phone despite my very very terrible sore throat, trying my hardest to repel those saline droplets (but losing the battle), I must have been a terrible wreck.

Thanks to Chew and Junxu for sitting down with me at the bus stop, evaluating everything so far. Up till now, I don't know what I'm doing. Perhaps it's all wrong right from the start. Maybe I'm just deluding myself and the feelings that I thought existed actually don't at all. All these questions that don't really have a definite answer - a labyrinth where I wander and hit dead ends all the time. Sphinxes don't always have the solution to everything, but then again I've never met one.

It's that SICK feeling of disappointment that really bogs you down with a plethora of emotions. Above it all, I really doubt the fact that you know how upset you made me today. I guess I should listen to what you say (again), that you don't bother at all, and that I can do as I deem fit. That hurt, yes, but like chew said, the hurt might just be fleeting. Deep down inside though, I know I'm too cowardly to embrace the potential upsets. I'm sorry, I might seem really really pathetic to any 3rd party, but honestly, I can do this. Rachel, Mich, Mindy, thanks for your msgs. I appreciate the fact that the whole girls team is behind me, but don't worry too much about me. I suppose the storm will tide over soon enough. Even if it doesn't, I won't lose sight of that little sliver of a possibility.

Every little thing counts. Based on the fact that 'every little thing' from you comes as a rarity, I'll cherish them all.