We cabbed to town for nothing. By the time we got there, the dance was over so BAH. Wasted money.

To YOU: Look, all you've done to try to salvage this is a big fat NOTHING. So don't apologise for what you've done cos you'd be apologising for nothing, which completely nullifies your apology in the first place. You don't avoid me like the plague, then suddenly try to make small talk with me all over again and expect me to smile and be nice. It just doesn't work that way dammit. I know that it's nothing but a sham when you speak to me like it's all okay cos it's NOT. You've let me down and I'm fucking disappointed. You say that I've always thought the worst of you, but I say that the reason why I'm so hurt was that I thought too highly of you. That I thought you were different. I made the biggest mistake of valuing the friendship too much, of thinking that you valued it as much as I did. God, I must have been bloody deluded. It's that feeling of being thrown aside like a worthless piece of trash, and this is NOT the first time. You know my past bad experiences, and yet you had to inflict the same wounds again.

Do I want you erased from my life? YES. I really wish I never had known you to begin with. That's how much it's screwed. I really wish I'd never met you, much less gotten close to you.

But, YOU: All I need sometimes is just a little apology to solve things. Sometimes you really make me feel like shit. Am I giving more than I'm receiving? I think so. I think I've really put in a lot, and I don't know if you appreciate it. Do you think it's FAIR to me? I just seem to be getting major question marks everywhere. Nothing seems certain, and your assurances don't really translate into anything tangible that I can actually grasp and place my faith in. It all seems so hazy..