Scary shit. Got out of school early again today cos of the pain. It wasn't excruciating or anything, but last night I was woken up by a very very sharp pain, and I decided I had to do something about it. Mt Alvernia it was, and I had my C.A.T scan done. $714. Shit. I can buy 10 bottles of perfume with that money, or lots of art stuff, or books. Not that I paid for it myself, but yeah that's a different story.
Diagnosis out tomorrow, and I've got an MC for today and tomorrow and I can't bloody train. They made me drink 250ml of Barium Sulphate suspension, and I took half an hour to down the whole thing. Then before they scanned, they handed me another 250ml. I pretended I was on Fear Factor (Maggotty cheese!! Zebra testicles!!) and gulped it down.
Injection halfway throughout the scan. More BaS04 into my veins. Then the doctor went "OH MY GOD! LEAKING! LEAKING!", referring to the damn liquid being intravenously pumped into me, and I was like - agjhrghkkghdksf!! Lying on that stretcher, and feeling it move through the cave of the machine, I felt like an android. "Do not stare directly at laser beam" said the sign. "Breathe in, and hold.", said the emotionless Voice of the machine. I breathed in and held, thinking that I would burst soon. "Breathe." commanded the Voice, and I was thankful.
Read some of The Bell Jar, and I love it. I didn't really enjoy Plath when I read her in Sec 4, but two years later I think my perspectives have changed. The language is exquisite, and while reading you actually are intoxicated. When I put down the book it was as if I was in a stupor. I happily chose to ignore the fact that The Bell Jar is about a girl who's kinda neurotic, and it's actually a very warped piece of prose. I love her blase attitude.
"Doctor Gordon's features were so perfect, he was almost pretty.
I hated him the minute I walked in through the door."
Ah yes. How intricate.
Vanessa Lim 1:31 p. m.
