Dear Van,

Stop being a total loser frog and stop brooding/harping over useless shabizz. You seriously have to start bucking up for common tests. You can't let yourself stagnate. You're not the type to let yourself fall into quicksand. You're not YOU. The usual you won't allow yourself to wallow in self pity. You're used to being defiant, headstrong and firm, albeit the fact that this is only on the surface. No matter what, you have to continue the theatrics. You have to be vile, ruthless and merciless although you hate being a bitch. To make yourself porous, sieve out everything undesirable and focusfocusfocus. You have to laugh when you see pain. Smile when you taste sorrow. Sneer at the people who do not deserve your empathy or sincerity, and just QUIT being a moronic leech.

You have to be jaded, bitter and just plain numb. Focus on what is the priority, and be thankful for all that you have not lost. Hey, there are others worse off. Stop obsessing over whatever. There's not much time left. You have to show them you can do math. All those who jeered at you for your incapacity in solving problems, show them you can. Grit your teeth, dash to the finish line, or die trying. Prove them all wrong. Most of all, show them you can put aside all the trash and concentrate.

Love,

Van